A Day in the Life of the Akatsuki
by Lady Arbalest
Summary: the Akatsuki; feared, S-rank criminals who are not the average ninja. But what is really behind those devilish grin and those burning eyes. What do they really do when they’re on free time? Read to find out.


**Title: **a day in the life of the Akatsuki

**Rating: **Rated T+ - M (for violence)

**Characters:** Akatsuki characters; all are alive

**Summarization:** the Akatsuki; feared, S-rank criminals who are not the average ninja. But what is really behind those devilish grin and those burning eyes. What do they really do when they're on free time? Read to find out. Rated M for violence.

**Inspiration:** a member on the narutofan forums makes hilarious threads about Naruto characters. I forgot his name, but whoever knows him, or maybe if he sees this, please, do tell me.

**Btw **this is written on first person, depending on who is the character for the chapter, and how he/she views the Akatsuki.

--oOo—

_Pein_ ; Akatsuki leader

**4:30 am : **_'hn.'_ That went well. I thought. I didn't get any sleep. _'damn'_ , the other day was so tiring, and the day before that, and the day before the other day, and so on and so forth. Sometimes, I didn't even sleep anymore, maybe it was the thought of having a lot of enemies, not just you, but your members. I open my eyes at last, and took a big sigh, before realizing what I did yesterday.

'_oh… I remember…'_ I tilted my head on the right to find a certain beautiful blue haired woman beside me, naked.

'_I just want to hug her… she feels, so soft.'_ I thought, living with a **lot** of males was very hard to do, but with one female, and her partner at that, made me feel more at ease.

I slightly moved my body to the right to lean closer to her.

"don't touch me." The voice of the blue haired vixen said.

"hn."

**5:00** **-6:00am:** as I took my bathrobes, and damn were they good bathrobes, it was color black and had the same clouds just like the akatsuki cloak. No one really knew who did those design, but thank kami that I have such wonderful hands, I could draw… '_hahaha…'_ I thought. I immediately went inside the bathroom and took a short shower.

When I came out the shower, I realized I didn't bring any clothes, **and,** Konan was outside refreshing herself. _'I'm doomed…'_ ,. What am I s'posed to do? I can't go outside naked!

'…_wait…'_ I can!! Konan isn't a nobody.

I took a peek at the door first, finding Konan was taking her daily yoga. And saw my clothes at the bed, near to were she was exercising.

'_I'm…sh…shy…'_

…

…

'_wait… what?'_ the Akatsuki leader, shy?!

That makes no absolute sense, so what I did was the unthinkable. I shunshin'd outside, and tried to grab my clothes as quickly as possible. Silly me, at my full speed, because everything was blurry, I slipped on one of Konan's smooth papers, which she always has, and at my horror, I lost balance and fell in front of Konan, with my legs, wide open, for her to see.

'_horror…of…horrors.'_

**6:30 am:** I was so embarrassed by the incident, that I began being clumsy at things, I put one of my earrings, on my nose, and everything else just got mixed up, when I came out of my room, Deidara walked in front of me and he stopped. He just stood there, as if trying to suppress laughter.

"what?" I asked in my usual cold manner.

"Leader-sama looks…." He stopped, still trying to suppress his laughter. I gave him a sharp look.

"Leader-sama looks…"

"just say it." I instructed him.

"goofy."

**7:00 am:** damn Deidara, he just had to say I looked 'goofy.' I had a great urge to pull out his intestines, but then I remembered he had a giant mouth on his stomach. So he brought out a mirror, which I suppose he always has, '_conceited brat'_, and gave it to me, pointing at my piercings.

'_damn.'_ I immediately went back to the room.

**8:00 am:** because I was so flushed, it took me an hour to fix my piercings. I did, kinda, look goofy, what with colored piercings on my mouth and ring piercings on the bridge of my nose. Why didn't I feel that I was completely doing it wrong?.

After I rearranged my piercings, a grumbling sound entered my ears.

'_Good thing no one heard that.'_ It was my hungry stomach.

So I quickly went out of the room and came down on the Akatsuki hideout's dining room.

**8:30 am:** when I sat on the end of the long table at the dining room of the Akatsuki hideout, I saw everyone doing their… business. Sasori was the assigned cook for the day. I wonder what he's going to serve us. Last time he cooked, he gave us some disgusting looking meat loaf, or I thought It was, with leaves of some sort and burnt tuna. Hidan asked what the hell is he serving us. His answer was an 'I don't know'. And explained that he doesn't eat. We remembered that he was a puppet. But still, we _had_ to eat the food because, there was no other food. That was a very horrible day.

As I looked around, everyone looked a bit sulky and was scared like hell. I mentally grinned at myself. Strong and tough criminals, scared by the cooking of the puppet master.

"hn." Everyone heard the small voice I let out. They all gave me a deadly look. I was the one who decided that we should have a schedule for those who were going to cook. Everyone complained, they were already happy with Konan's cooking, but I reason out that this was an adventure that we should all try. And now they're staring at me as if saying… _'The hell, this is your fault, if I have the effin' chance, I'm gonna slit yer throat!!...'_

**9:00 am:** after what seemed like centuries, Sasori finally served us his food. It was surprisingly, decent looking. It was a roasted pink salmon with rice balls and a miso soup.

'_I wonder…'_ I had the biggest doubts that these aren't real food.

I looked at everyone, they were dumbfounded. They actually look like they want to eat it. But I just merely stared at it. Then I realized…

"undo." I put both of my pointing finger and middle finger in front of my face, then the food created a puffing sound and white smoke surrounded it.

"henge." The members muttered.

The food looked disgusting now.

**9:30 am:** Sasori reasoned out that he didn't know how to make food, his grandmother always did it for him. so he did the best he could do to make the pink salmon presentable, but failed. His last resort was the henge jutsu. Good thing we had soldier pills to fill us in for a few hours so we could buy some tasty food.

When I was putting on my cloak, Konan gave me a glance, and I glanced back, only to find myself blushing hard. I couldn't forget the incident.

**10:30 am: **I visited the room of five of my other bodies, they were already prepared. We went out and I told them what we're going to do.

"we're going to buy some nice food because I'm hungry."

The five Peins looked at me with confusion.

"don't ask."

**11:30 am:** I made the village of Amegakure have a thunder storm because I felt like doing it. I was soooo hungry, and I couldn't find _any_ open stores or restaurants.

When my 6 bodies went to the downtown of the village, which was looking rather gloomy, I let out a bit of my chakra to tell the people that I was here.

"puny little people." I muttered as some came out and open their stores.

Everyone came out nervously.

"why aren't your stores open?!" I aksed monotonously.

"there was a… thunder storm." A male civilan told me.

'_whatever'_ I thought, but that would give me more headache. So I just told them…

"give me good food… now."

**12:30 pm:** thank kami the puny people of Amegakure is obedient. I had some nice food. Well served.

After I went out of the small restaurant, a boy approached me and told me about meeting someone at the bridge of Amegakure. He was the guy on the on the orange mask, the boy said.

When the boy was out of sight, I let out a small grunt. I was meeting the founder of the akatsuki, Madara, better known as Tobi. I'm not exactly fond of the person. But I had no choice.

**2:00 pm: **after having a nice lunch, I just felt like walking in a leisurely manner. Or maybe it was just the small voice in my head that told me.

'_Make him wait on the bridge!! Mwahahahaha…'_

As stupid as it was, I did it. What was normally a 30 minute walk became an hour and a half walk. When the man in the orange mask was in sight, I let out a small sigh.

He turned around and told me.

"You're late." In a kind of cold, icy manner, as if he was the world president or something of that sort.

**3:00 pm:** I hate that punk of a man. I hate him so much my head aches yet again.

Could you even imagine?! Madara told me a few things, no, actually, INSTRUCTED me a few things. Told me I should control my temper more or make the members go along with each other and not make stupid who-would-be-the-cook schedules. The hell did he think he was?! Instructing me!! Pein!! No waiiiiii!! But, he was the founder of the group.

I was so infuriated that I just walked out at the middle of the conversation, making excuses like, nature is calling me. When I was out of site from the old punk, I saw a very nice looking building with flowers and colorful murals. I hate nice looking things. I destroyed it to let out my anger.

**3:45 pm: **I went back to the Akatsuki hideout. I quickly remembered that I didn't give anyone a mission because I was so preoccupied about the food that I forgot which is more important.

Everyone was enjoying themselves, Deidara was blowing up some things and Itachi was watching…

Wait, what was he watching? What were they watching? Everyone at the Akatsuki except Deidara, Sasori and Konan was there in front of the television.

With my good eyesight and rin'negan, I saw the most disturbing thing ever.

"Porn?!"

**4:30 pm:** everyone explained were they got the tape, I didn't want to know.

S-class criminals?! Weakened by some…some… ex…xx..pli…plicit… things…

'_It was quite hot.'_ Inner Pein told me.

'_Shut up.'_ I muttered.

I had the tape burned by Itachi's katon, though unwillingly, he still did it. Everyone gave out a sigh when the tape was no more. But I was more surprised by the fact that Itachi was watching porn, isn't he like… blind?

**5:30 pm:** it was such a long and hard day. A lot of weird things happened. So I became hungry.

Sasori was STILL the cook of the day. But the others pleaded me to not let him, heck; even Sasori pleaded me not to let him cook. So I let Konan cook our dinner.

Konan was such a great cook, or, maybe it was just female instincts. _'hn.'_ That, I would never know.

When she served our food, everyone's eyes went bright with glee. They ate their food so quick; it's as if they were in some kind of contest.

**6:30 pm:** "aaaaah…" I groaned. My stomach was full and the food was wonderful.

I didn't have anything else important to do, so I went out on the balcony of the Akatsuki hideout and looked at Amegakure, I realized I hadn't stopped the thunder storms yet. And because I was such in good mood, I replaced the thunderstorm with small, wispy clouds and I let the moon out with stars accompanying it.

What a wonderful night.

**8:00 pm:** I had a few breathing exercises and yoga before continuing to replace my current clothes with pajamas. I was sleeping quite early today, unlike the usual hours of my sleep.

**8:30 pm:** when I was already lying in bed, I realized that this was quite a wonderful day, it was not so stressful, and there was no paperwork to be done… okay, so there was THAT incident.

But I can forget it.

"yeah, of course I can." I muttered to myself.

Ofcourse.

So before darkness took me, I told myself to prepare for tomorrow, since with our notorious organization, nothing is predictable.

--oOo—

**A/N: **sooo?? What d'ya think? Awesome? Average? Good? Bad? Awful? Pleaaasseee… do tell me. Via reviews okiii?? This is my first time making these kinds of fics, yes, the one with an awful lot of fluffs in it. And I'm not even good at writing jokes, making jokes personally; I can, but not writing it!

Next chapter would be Konan!

Love,

-LadyArbhie


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